Agonizing love
by tetey22
Summary: unrequited love is the most agonizing feeling people can feel, it may literally kill you. alxwinxed pairing
1. Fantasía

hi there guys, this is my actual first story so practically ,and i must say sadly, im an amateur jeje. i said i never would dare publish a story but i had to give it a try.

so this is basically an alxwin story. i must confess im a edxwin fan till death but poor al, no one gave him any credit at all so i just had to do this, to show the big guy some love.

so enjoy yourselves

**warning:** this piece of story may burn your eyes but hey that was my goal. WHAT THE HECK just read and write what you think about it. see ya little kids. oh and unfortunately i dont own anything from fma, i pray God to have ED in my possession but he already belongs to winry, damnit i was late.

* * *

**AGONIZING LOVE **

People say we all can find love at any point of our lives. That there is a person destined for us, to be with us and to complete us. Sheakspeare once said that the heart recognizes its other half just with the mere gaze. We only have to find the right person with the right heart. But what happens when you already found that person you want to be with the rest of your life and it happens that this person was not destined to be with you. This kind of love is the exception of the rule. Is the most painful, contradictory feeling one can have. This is called unrequited love aka killer love and Alphonse Elric was an expert in this.

He has been in love with the same person for the past 16 years. And it was not just a matter of a simple crush; it was pure-deep love. He came to realize that loving your best friend was not an easy task and he had all the right to say this because he, the most famous amestrian doctor at the time was ridiculously deeply in love with Winry Rockbell. It was not that he lacked of experience because anyone knew that Dr. Alphonse was very well known for his amazing medical skills at just the young age of 24, but he was also know for his incredible abilities to catch any women attention, not that he wanted it that way, but he was a very handsome, gentle, rich young man with an amazing career and a popular life. He had everything a man at his age could have dreamed of, except for one thing. The love of his life, the only girl he wanted to be with and he knew very well he could never had because she was already married to an amazing man. That man was his older brother Edward Elric whom Alphonse loved with all his heart. This love, his love was forbidden.

_He still remembered it all. They had married two years ago. He had proposed to her and she had immediately said yes. He knew that his brother was also in love with Winry ever since they were children fighting for the one who would marry her. Now he knew that even though he had won at that time he had lost the real thing. So when his brother asked him to be his best man he couldn't refuse. Of course he was happy for his brother, Alphonse Elric was a humble soul, but he couldn't resist the jealousy he had making him feel somehow guilty. It was a wonderful wedding with very few friends, all of them happy for the couple telling them that it was about time. He remembered that all what he did during the whole ceremony was imagining himself as his brother, saying the vows that he had prepared, putting the shiny ring in her slender index finger, promising her he will always protect her and love her and finally kissing the beautiful bride as the present public applauded and cheer them. He remembered how his brother constantly asked him why was he so lost in space and how he just responded that it was just because he was so happy for them. _

_The honey moon was worst. When the newlyweeds went to say good-bye to him at his consulting room he had to lied and say to them:"have fun". He hugged his brother and winry had to hug him. And when they left he could only stand like a dork waving back wishing he was the one she loved._

He had tried desperately to forget her but after dating several beautiful intelligent women he got to the conclusion he would never escape from his destiny. No one was that perfect like Winry; stubborn, kind, beautiful, smart, strong, friendly, amazing, unique, and ambitious as she was. No one had supported him the way she had done. So he decided to love her despite it all. Period.

* * *

He woke that morning sweating after having another one of his not so clean dreams about her. He scolded himself for thinking those things about her with him but then again dreaming was the only thing he could do. He reached for his clock. 4:00 am. Only 2 more hours left before leaving to the hospital. He had got used to to waking this early, work more than 10 hours and sleep only 4 . He couldn't complain for his work. He loved his job, being a doctor was what he had always wanted to be. He only regretted that his job took almost all his little free time left but saving lives was worth it.

He couldn't sleep anymore so he went to take a cold shower. It only took five steps to reach the bathroom which consisted of a small white tub, a rustic washbasin and an old-fashioned toilet. His house was actually small nothing special but he had fallen in love with it the first time he saw it. It reminded him of his natal home. He had a fortune enough to buy two mansions with everything included but he like to keep it simple, besides it brought peace to him he had said once.

After the shower he changed to his normal working suit. He still had some more time left so he took out his sketch book. Drawing was also one of his secret passions and he would make sure to keep it top secret especially since all his drawings resumed to one specific person. 50 pages filled with every winrys expressions not even Ed had realized yet and this was the third sketch book he had filled. Obsession, some might say, but he preferred to call it admiration. He always started his drawing with the eyes, it was the part he loved the most about her body. Her blue eyes were simply captivating, anyone could get lost in them. Since they were little kids he remembered to look at her directly in the eyes something really hard to do considering his position. He proceeded with her nose, her mouth, her ears, and finally her hair. He didn't realize how much time had passed since then. Satisfied with his work he watched his clock. It was 6:30.

-"dammit. is so late".He cursed. It was not something he did regularly but he had learned to curse some time ago.

He ran to the kitchen, opened the fridge and grabbed the first thing he saw without even noticing. He proceeded to the living room which was centimeters away (thank God for his small house) he grabbed his medical satchel and headed to his car. He switched on his car but it didn't work. "Just great" he said really starting to piss. After several tries the motor started to run and he sped promised to remind himself buy a new car later. When reaching the main street he couldn't believe his bad luck .The most amazing traffic jam he had ever seen was taking place. "What the hell, it's so early for a traffic jam" he said, this time really pissed. It was almost 7 when he managed to leave the car in the sidewalk, and walk to the hospital instead. For sure a fine would wait for his return but he didn't want to ruin his reputation as a responsible doctor.

He literally ran the marathon of his life but finally reached his destination. Sweating like a pig he saw his watch. It was 7:05. He congratulated himself for setting a new record. When he entered the hospital he saw that there were not so many people as he thought there would be.

-"doctor Elric?". One of the nurses said.

-"Sir are you alright?" she had to ask looking at a sweated young man "you seem a little uneasy".

-"uh, what?" he said a bit confused.

-"you're sweating everywhere doctor, do you need some water?" she asked really concerned.

-"ah no it's fine, but why the hospital seems so empty today?

-oh that, don't you remember doctor, today is the new presidents promotion. Many of the nurses and doctors were required for any unexpected event" she explained. "umm you should be there as well sir"

-"oh yeah?" he said is still trying to remember. "Damn, you're right thanks a lot, bye" he said not even waiting for the nurs' respond. How could he have forgotten that today was Roy's Mustang promotion to president. Roy had personally invited him since they had been friends for a long time. Ed and Winry would be there as honor guests as well.

The event would take place in the Grand Convention Center like four streets away from the hospital. He was really late so he ran the second largest marathon of his life. Before he noticed he was already there. Hundreds of people were gathering in the center. Thery were all nicely dressed and that's when he discovered he still had his working suit on and his medical trunk as well. He had no time to go to his house and change to a proper outfit. He made a way through the crowd and managed to enter the honor guest's room.

"Sir I need to see your invitation"the guard said kindly. It seemed that he didn't recognized Alphonse at all.

-"oh yes, sorry one second please."Checking all his clothes he couldn't find the damn invitation. Of course he had forgotten it, he didn't even remember todays schedule. It seemed that Winry was affecting other parts of him too. Really embarrassed he said to the guard:

-"jeje" he chuckled nervously. "It seems I forgot it"

-"Sorry sir without an invitation there is no way I can let you pass." This time the guard lost his kindly voice.

-"B b but I'm Alphonse Elric , the doctor, don't you see, I was invited personally by the president"he said desperately. He didn't like to make use of his popularity but this was extremely necessary.

-"Listen sir I don't care who you are, if you don't have the invitation im afraid I can let you pass."the guard said loosing his patience.

-"okay I understand but you don't seem to understand me. I was required as a doctor and as an honor guest"he said amazed at the tone he used. "If I don't get inside the president might get really mad and….." he was lost at words.

-"I had enough of you sir" with that the guard grabbed is arm forcefully,ready to take the intruder out.

-"Alphonse, hey let go of that man" a very familiar voice said from behind. When Al turned to see who it was, the guard had already released his arm. It was no other than Roy Mustang. Al sighed relieved seeing his friend.

-"thanks a lot Roy, I was about to be taken to jail."He laughed

-"next times make sure to memorize my friends' faces"Roy said to the guard really mad at how he had treated Alphonse.

-"yes sir!"The guard said shamely.

-"No roy, its okay, the man was only doing his job. Its not his fault"he said rubbing the back of his head. "you see I forgot the invitation, so naturally this had to happen"

-"jeez Alphonse, you forgot? i must say this is new in you alright? I mean we all know your job ir really tiring but is not normal in you to forget things. Youre the good brother, remember that Ed I the vulgar and clumsy one. Jajajaja"Roy laughed hard.

-"jeje, yes you're right"he chuckled again. "speaking of him has he already arrived?"Al asked

-"the pisqueak nerd came 30 minutes earlier"roy said. He really enjoyed putting names to the older brother.

-"wow that is weird in my brother, he would rather preferred stay in bed all day"

-"well the thing is that I forced him to do so. I told him that if he didn't appear I would make fun of him during my speech, you know worldwide television, so he accepted gladly to come. Jejeje the guy is so foolish sometimes"Roy said raising his arm to see his watch and constantly gazing through the bunch of people as if trying to see someone or escape from somebody.

-"yeah"Al said. "Umm and is Winry with him?" he couldn't resist to ask even though the answer was blatantly obvious to him.

-"yes they're both up there. Ill see you later, my bodyguards are so annoying. They're like mosquitoes; they don't leave me alone even when I need to go to the bathroom. I need to get ready for the speech" Roy said a bit annoyed by the fact of having a dozen bulls following him everywhere and really excited of finally becoming the president of Amestris.

-"well you knew this would happen eventually right" al said smiling to his friend.

-"yeah you're right."Roy sighed "see you then doctor, oh and don't forget tonight's dinner in honor of the best president ever, me. And try not to come all sweaty okay?"He said after leaving almost running from his big bodyguards.

-"ah sure"Al said embarrassed. He then remembered it. _So Winry is there_. He sighed. "I should better pray for my own sake" with that he proceeded to the honor guests' room.

* * *

great ill publish next chapter if i have enough reviews. really people, did you know that reviews encourage writers and potential writers to write?, theyre powerful. so review constructive things please and tell me what you think. the story has a really amazing turn. you are the ones that decide after all.

i hope you guys like it cause i wasnt sure to publish this now.


	2. suspenso

The dinner's salon was incredibly amazing. Fancy chandeliers hanged from the ceiling, extravagant tables were decorated with the most ostentatious silver plates ever made and the environment reflected Roy's fancy tastes. It was room enough for the 3000 guests that were expected to be there that night. Many people were already gathered and many more were just arriving, including the famous trio.

-"Wow, it is so huge.!!!" Winry exclaimed with astonished eyes. She was really amazed by the size and fanciness of the room. It was nothing compared to the small and simple places she was accustomed to work with. Being an artificial limb surgeon reduced her working area to small- blood stained places. Tidy was definitively not a word to describe her properly.

-"mmjm, yeah it's pretty big" Ed said not that surprised at all. Working with Roy Mustang for 3 years has taught him that a person can be methodical, womanizer, strict, free spirit and obstinate all at the same time. Ed didn't expected least from him. "Hey Al stop dozing around." Ed said playfully snapping at his little brother.

-"are you alright al?" Winry asked a bit concerned about her friend's lethargic position.

-"stop it brother!!!!" he said to his older brother slapping Ed's fingers gently. "Im fine Winry" he said blushing and looking at her eyes as he always did. "I was just astonished by the eccentricity as well" he lied. The truth was that he couldn't stop watching Winry. She looked gorgeous with her black dress. It showed her silhouette perfectly, accentuating her every womanly curves. Her slender creamy legs, her strong arms, her long backbon, pointed out thanks to the cut in her dress, everything in her bosy was just perfect. She was wearing plain makeup but Alphonse thought that she was beautiful with or without it. He was totally bathed in her.

-"there you again Al. Jeez I know it is huge but stop drooling around." Ed said annoyed by Al's expression. He looked at his little brother who was just staring towards winry's direction. "Oh I see. Winry look, my little bother seems to be fond of you. I told you not to wear that dress baby" Ed said with a huge grin and winry giggled along.

Alphonse inmediately woke up from his daydream at what his barbaric brother had just said. "What?!!" he said blushing fiercely, this time not daring to see winry's face. "Umm winry, I swear is not what brother, I mean you look really pretty but umm is just uh …"

-"its okay al" she giggled had always thought Alphonse looked more handsome with a blush in his face. "I think you look really handsome too" she said frankly and with a smile in her smile was enough to make his body shiver.

-"I should take some air"with that he ran to the nearest balcony away from the couple.

Winry and Ed looked at each other confused. "What happened?"Ed said uncetain. "Aghh, damnit Winry!!!!! What was that for?" Ed yelled to his wife, both hands gripping his left rib and pain written all over his face.

-"idiot, look what you did" she said pissed. "Al was worried over something and all you could do was tell a joke you moron. Go and apologize now"she commanded him firmly raising her left arm and pointing toward the direction al had left earlier.

-"What?!!! , hey is not fair, I remind you that you were laughing as well, miss mechanic freak" Ed said pointing out his last phrase still in pain. He shoudnt have said that because her strong wife gave him another punch in his right rib. "Aghh stop it Winry. Okay okay I get it. Damn woman, youre killing me."He said annoyed. He changed his face inmediately "tonight youre going to have your punishment"he said smirking and stealing a quick kiss from her.

-"how dare you!!" she said surprised by Ed's actions. She was going to kick Edward but he had already left. "He is quick"she said smiling.

-"aahhh"he sighed wiping his sweat from his forehead, his heart throbbing at a really amazing speed. He rested his elbows in the concrete railing "Damn that smile" he said closing his eyes. If he hadn't run in that moment he would have probably kissed Winry right there. He just stayed there thinking. Could he really continue with this false façade, pretending that everything is okay, that nothing wrong is with his freaking heart? Lying to himself, to the whole world but what hurted him the most was that he knew he was lying to his brother, his only brother. He loved his brother with all his soul but he loved winry with his heart. He hated himself for allowing his heart win over his mind. He knew it was wrong, ever since the first time he dreamed about her. His heart betrayed him in the most dangerous way possible. "How am I going to get through this" he sighed.

-"you shoud start by enjoying the night and leave that depressing face you have"

Alphonsed turned surprised. "Brother you scared me" he said putting his right hand over his chest.

Ed walked to his brother's side. "Are you okay al?" he said watching the horizon.

Both brothers looked at the distance. Both concerned for two different purposes. Al saw Ed through the corner of his eyes; he knew he had to tell him someday. No. He had to tell him now. "Bother I, I"he tighten his fists and his teeths. Ed looked at him listening. "I have to tell you something really important"he said almost yelling. He looked at Ed's eyes seriously.

-"uhh sure al what is it?" Ed said trying to hide his anxiety. He had never seen al this serious before.

-"listen Edward, it is extremely hard for me telling you this but I can't hold it anymore"

Now Ed was worried, Alphonse was saying his complete name which only meant that the situation was serious. "Tell me al, come on"

-"damnit, Ed I, I, I …"

-"tell me brother, what's wrong!!?" Ed yelled unintenionally.

-"there you were guys. I've been looking for you"

Both brothers stared at the person who just interrupted their conversation. It was none other that Riza Hawkeye, Roy's Mustang personal secretary, and former couple.

Riza saw Edward's annoyed expression. "Im sorry, did I just interrupt something"

-"Actually yes we were..."

-"We were just about to leave Miss Hawkeye"Alphonse said interrupting his brother and winking at him. Ed turned to see his brother and understood.

"Yes we were just leaving"Ed said as well.

-"okay. Listen, Roy wants to see you; he's been like crazy looking for you two" Riza said. "Just follow me"she said and turned around heading for the door.

-"Okay"they both said in unison.

Stopping him, Ed whispered to al "this will continue later"

-"definitively"al said and they both followed Riza.


	3. DRAMA

okay this is the third part of this novel, which has taken plenty of time i must say. Ideas ran off my mind and then came back again. XD. i hope people read this because so far it has been my most elaborated story. if there is a mistake, please forgive me , english is not my first language. i tried hard though. enjoy

* * *

The celebration was finally over. Exhausted guests, after eight long hours of dancing, chatting and eating started leaving the salon giving their best wishes to the new president. In the end the only people left were Roy, Riza, Edward, Winry and Alphonse. All of them pretty tired as well but they had really enjoyed the moment especially for Roy. He had always wanted to climb to the top and finally his wish had come true. Of course that accomplishment was earned by hard work and determination. Roy couldn't ask for more but it seemed that at the end of the night there was something that made him impatient.

-"alright you guys thanks for coming, it was pretty nice and everything but this had to come to an end someday jaja, I don't want to uhm dismiss you so sudden but…" Roy said somehow anxious and really nervous. "But um…" he tried to create the perfect excuse. Scratching his head he said "Well you know, I've got to take Hawkeye to her house. I wouldn't forgive myself if something bad happens to her" that last part was said with an air of hopefulness that only Riza understood. She rolled her eyes in annoyed expression and said:

-"yes is late and the president was very kind to offered me a ride home" she said trying to sound firmer; something in which Roy failed to do.

-"oh okay, sounds good to me" Ed said. "Let's go Win" he said grabbing Winry's hand gently while Winry nodded and strengthen her hold intertwining her hand with Ed`s.

Both couples started walking towards the entrance until Winry felt something was missing.

-"hey Al, don't space out" she said to a lost in space Alphonse who was watching the floor. "Al is you listening?"She said this time harder, waving her hands in front of him"

-"oh sorry Win, yeah I listened"he said looking at her.

-"you sure bro, you've been acting strange lately?"Ed asked worried for his little brother.

-"Really? Jeje I think I just need to take a rest" Al said, once again hiding his true feelings.

-"you guys leaving or you plan on making a hotel of this place"Roy said loosing his nerves. It seemed he really needed to do something really important that couldn't wait.

-"shut up Roy!!!! Ed said. "Jeez whats so important you gotta do anyways"

- "you don't understand pipsqueak I finally obtain the opportunity I was…ouch Riza?" Riza pinched Roy's elbow hardly. If she hadn't stopped the obstinate president, he would have spilled everything and everything was that two days before she had finally accepted having a date with him and he just needed to confess that he loved women with strong attitude and that he had always wanted her for Riza to fell for him again. So now they were a couple but Riza wanted to keep it a secret for Roy's disappointment because he wanted to show her all around the world.

-"well go on ahead. Have a good night" Riza said with the temperance that distinguished her. It seemed she would always wear the pants in their relationship. With that said, she grabbed Roy's arm and began a fast pace that surprised the three friends. "Oh, Ed, Al remember what I told you" Roy said as he was being dragged by his girl with great force. "Whoa chill out Riza" and they disappeared.

Both brothers nodded to the president's reminder leaving Winry confused and curious of whatever Roy had told them.

-"what did Roy told you guys?"Winry asked with a cute voice as she grabbed Ed's shoulder with pleading eyes.

"_Damn not the eyes again_" Ed knew Winry was a curious soul and whenever she wanted something she did that thing with her voice and the eyes which immediately transformed her into some kind of wonder woman. No one could escape from those eyes.

Taking courage he said "nothing important woman".

Winry couldn't believe Ed just told her that. She knitted but increasing her cuteness she said once more and this time grabbing Ed's arm.

-"oh come on Ed, pliiiish tell me, tell me, tell me, yes?"She started ranting as usual. Ed looked at her, he couldn't resist the eyes anymore so he just sighed in defeat and started walking, dragging Winry in the way.

- "Jeez, okay okay. I'll tell you at home" he said annoyed of his pathetic weakness and how fragile he was when faced to his lovely and 'angelical' wife.

Winry just mentally smiled widely and congratulated herself for scoring one ore point in the ED-WIN scoring-board. "Yey! Thanks babe"she kissed Ed and he just smirked at her gesture.

Al just giggled and followed them; he knew Winry's rants were difficult to avoid. There was no way Ed would have possibly won. She was absolutely the best one and no other competitor would ever win to her.

* * *

-"take this cab Al" Winry said pointing to the taxi that just stopped.

-"its fine Win, my car is near, I'll just have to walk, It won't do any harm to take a little walk you know, its good for the health and these days…"

-"Al, stop!!" Ed said really worried. "Listen just take this cab, go to your house and have a good rest, don't worry, Winry and I will take your car." He said patting his little brother's back. "I'm telling you Al, you're working a lot these days, im worried you might turn into some kind of nerd, smarty-pants asshole" Both brothers laughed at the idea. Perhaps he needed some rest.

"You're right Ed"Al said and before getting inside the cab he hugged his brother Ed and Winry got surprised at what Al did

-"dude, what's with the hug is not as if were never going to see again haha"Ed said playfully, embracing his brother despite his own comment. A hug was always well received "I love you Al" he said feeling uneasy about something. His brother has been acting weird and perhaps he just needed some rest and love.

-"love you too brother" Al said closing his eyes while they were still embraced. He knew there would be a time in where he must confess his secret to Ed and perhaps Ed might not like the idea of his little brother being in love with his wife, so he needed to remember the good days until the worst came. They kept embracing each other until they heard a giggle. They turn to see Winry looking at them, choking with silence laughter.

-"what is this you guys? You look like an old love drama or something" she said covering her giggles with her hand.

-"hey Winry come on, i love you too" Ed said nipping Winry's ear`. "Don't get jealous. Remember I promised to punish you tonight" he said lifting her chin and kissing her gently in the mouth.

Al just stayed there watching the lover's scene and regretting to be the spectator and not the actor. They matched so perfectly and now he was just the wheel. Despite it all he felt happy that they were happy even though that would have been a line taken ou from a novel; he did felt happy for them.

-"behave yourself Edward"she said giggling, playfully pushing Ed. "I'm sorry Al, your brother is still a little boy who hasn't grown yet"

-"I heard that woman" Ed said angry at the comment about his height.

Winry giggled and then grabbed Al's hands. "Take care and have a good night"she smiled to him.

He wanted to do more than just hold her hands, he wanted to kiss her but instead he hugged her with more intensity than he did with his brother. Winry just hugged him back, surprised at his sudden act. Al just embraced her and deep inside, his heart was screaming, confessing all what he felt for her. Silent words spilled from his heart and travel through his body to concentrate in his arms. As he held her someone interrupted him.

-"I'm sorry sir, I was just wondering…are you going to get in or what?" the taxi driver asked. He did have waited a pretty long time.

- "oh yes"Al said with shame. "Sorry to make you wait" he released Winry and kissed her in the cheek. "Ed you better take good care of Winry"he said with a smile throwing his car keys to Ed and getting inside the taxi. Edward catched the keys "of course Al, she is in good hands".

The couple waved goodbye as the taxi leaved.

-"win?"Ed turned to his wife watching the taxi in the distance.

"Hmm?"She replied looking at him.

"Didn't you notice Al was acting weird today?"He asked looking at the floor now. "Today he was trying to say me something but… "He sighed and reminded himself to talk to Al later.

She smiled and lifted his chin. "He is fine sweetie, your brother is strong. Hmm… perhaps he was just tired" she said trying to change his husband's worried face while rubbing the back of her hand with his face.

Ed smiled to her and kissed her passionately. He was blessed to have her and was glad he could always count with her.

* * *

Alphonse leaned in the car's window, as rain started falling the rain droplets crashed in the window he closed his eyes and smiled. He was remembering how he had hugged Winry. "I'm so stupid, she might think I'm a freak or something and she smelled so good haha"he laughed sarcastically.

-"are you okay sir?" the taxi driver asked

Getting back to reality he nodded.

- "Are we getting there?" Al asked, it seemed hours had passed.

-"in a few more minutes sir, the rain is falling pretty hard and the road is kinda slippery, besides I can`t see very well, but everything is fine"the driver explained.

Al just smiled and leaned in the seat. He was really tired and only wanted a bed to rest in.

* * *

I love this story.


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